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Why Do Women Love Men?

Yes, this is a great question. Let me see if I can shed some light on this.

There are many things to admire about women: their looks, the softness of their skin and bodies, their smell, their hair and their nurturing, giving qualities. We both agree on all of these.

Most women however see these things not as sexual attractiveness, but as weakness. Therein lies your answer.

There’s a lot of evolutionary sociology behind all of this and I’ll try not to bore you with much science, but consider this: you evolved to admire primarily sexual characteristics of women; things that make her look young, healthy and vibrant primarily because these are the types of characteristics that produce healthy offspring able to reproduce. Characteristics that produce unhealthy offspring died off with them because they weren’t around to reproduce!

Women did the same thing, but in a different way, with a different motivation.

Women; being burdened with doing most of the child raising had to naturally look for others to protect them, help them gather food and help them raise their young. They too want offspring that will be healthy and to survive into sexual adulthood.

In effect, this means strength and power. Those are the most attractive qualities that women see in men. You see, just as you want healthy offspring, so do women, but we go about creating them from different motivations.

Now, just as some men prefer brunettes and some prefer blonds, women have physical and emotional choices too, but they define “attractiveness” differently than you do based on this programming.

To a woman, the thought of being with a powerful man creates security and safety. Women need this security in order to feel love - and loved by the way. Part of this is sexual attraction too.

Women are motivated by their own genes to find men who can produce strong healthy children as sexually attractive. Aspects like kissing, cuddling, having sex, etc., are all things that build positive physical and emotional sensations in us because we are pre-wired that way. Women get emotional, physical and sexual arousal from those things that they equate with basic sexual characteristics - just like we guys do. The difference is that we need different things.

You run into some confusion here however. How come women simply don’t go for the biggest, brutish types of men they can find? Simple: these guys also consume the most resources! (There are some other reasons behind this too but again, it gets pretty complicated pretty quickly!)

Women view other things as “powerful” too: someone with attitude, someone with confidence, high-income earners, intelligence, men with social status, etc. These are guys that CREATE the greatest resources. Today, it’s fundamentally within the home and the culture. With our ancestors, it was the guys that went out on the hunt to bring back protein for the family at great personal risk to themselves. By the way consider that a group of individuals - even if they are all women - are “strong” too. This is why women also developed much keener communication and social skills than men did. By creating a community, women were able to provide better for their own offspring. Of course they also competed together for limited resources - food, shelter, protection - and men.

This explains why so many women can be catty towards each other too. It comes from a basis of competition with each other.

Now, these things are highly over-simplified, but if you consider them, you’ll get a very good idea not only of what women are looking for in men, but why they find someone you don’t think is attractive, so appealing.

Are You Fit To Love?

Are You Fit To Love? is the most important question we’ll ever ask ourselves. Let’s face it, our relationships are extremely important. In fact they are the essence of our lives. Yet, for many relationships are the cause of pain and struggle often rendering us powerless to bring about positive changes. Single or not, societal standards convince us that when it comes to relationships we can have it all. As a result we have developed a pervasive “what’s-in-it-for-me” attitude with an emphasis on superficiality. In addition, much of the available relationship advice compels us to go after everything we want from our partners. Sadly, for many it is not working. Climbing divorce rates and an increase in the number of singles seeking love are proof that our behavior and attitudes are counterproductive. We need to be reminded that being in a relationship is really about being with another person.

Our expectations of each other have become highly unrealistic. Rarely do we look in the mirror and ask: Do I give what I am asking from my partner? Am I fit to love? We resent each other for unmeet expectations. When the resentment grows faster than our love and respect for each other, lovers turn into enemies and relationships into war zones. Today’s relationships are failing because of deterioration of characters. It is time we made a point of building long-term relationship success based on the strength of our characters, instead of clever-minded relationship rules and strategies.

Great relationships require great characters, a fact that will never ever change. Our relationships are only as good as we are. We simply must become better people for each other. Becoming fit to love is a relationship reality check that forces us to look in the mirror and become inspired to create a better character within. This powerful wake-up call is not for the faint-hearted, but for the brave. It will dramatically improve our relationships or our chances of finding love.

The happiest people are those in exceptional relationships. We admire and even envy these people. They are heavily invested in their most valuable asset: their relationship and have an abundance of life’s most precious commodity: love. They all have one thing in common: they are fit to love. At the heart of all exceptional relationships are three universal principles: mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity. Unless we understand and apply these principles our relationships will be subject to resentment, frustration and uncertainty. Being fit to love is taking a radically different approach to successful relationships and here is what it means:

1. Mutual Respect: Your partner is just as important as you are.

Our partner’s dreams, hopes, wishes and expectations are as important as our’s. This principle requires us to be unselfish and think of our partner as our equal. Given that our generation has made history as ambassadors of our “me first” society, we are more concerned with getting what we want than thinking of another. For Bill everything revolves around golfing. He spends every weekend at the golf course while his wife Jane looks after their two small children. Extra money from their already tight budget is spent on Bill’s hobby. Stuck at home with toddlers, Jane has very little freedom or money to do or buy anything special. Despite Jane’s complaints Bill seems completely aloof to the fact that he is behaving disrespectfully.

How differently life turned out for Karen and Lucas even though they experience a huge interest-clash. Madly in love, they are making future plans. Karen wants to live in the city in a squeaky clean condo with nearby shopping, restaurants and cultural events. Lucas loves the country, gardening and pets. The differences don’t end here. She prefers fine dinning and classical music. Lucas likes roadhouse cuisine and modern beats. This sounds like trouble, but by honoring their opposing beliefs they turned their dilemma into a real bliss. They moved to a small town in between the city and the country. Karen couldn’t help but fall in love with the puppy Lucas brought home, even though she was dead set against pets. They simply focused on the positive in their diversities and embraced the richness of each other. They respected their differences and did not insist on their own views. As a result they deepened their love and now live the best of both worlds.

Relationship conflicts arise because of different perspectives and beliefs. Lovers find themselves arguing over who is right, instead solving the issue in their mutual best interest. The ongoing struggle over unresolved issues leads to resentment and frustration even when there is love. Love and respect take a backseat and the relationship deteriorates. This is not only a dangerous game but also the reason why many relationships fail, when they shouldn’t. This downward spiral continues unless we stop wanting to be right and be in control. Instead of trying to change each other or putting our needs first, we must realize that our partner is just as important as we are. In grabbing hold of our partner’s beliefs or buying a share of his or her dreams we show that we respect our partner as much we do ourselves. If conflict arises and we cannot agree on a solution, we should simply agree to disagree and continue to talk with respect and honesty. Without true mutual respect, it is impossible to create loving relationships with staying power. Being fit to love is the realization that another her person is just as valuable as you.

2. Moral Responsibility: You are always morally responsible to those with whom you have relationships.

We live in a society that elevates self-fulfillment above anything else and the term moral responsibility is hardly part of our vocabulary. We seek self-fulfillment at any cost, even at the cost of others. Regardless of how many times we have heard that we are not responsible for our partner’s happiness, we are responsible for his or her well-being. Love is still a moral responsibility to another person. In our relationships we have the power to make each other feel exceptional or miserable. How often do we blame our partners if things do not work out without looking in the mirror to see our own character flaws. We are far more likely to make excuses for our behavior not realizing that everything we think, say or do affects those we love.

In our quest for better relationships, we must make our relationship a priority. We must focus on our relationship not elsewhere. As Mary O’Hara said: Love cannot survive if you just give it scraps of yourself, scraps of your time, scraps of your thoughts. We are responsible for the state of our relationships. Realizing that we are indeed morally responsible to those we love is vital to being fit to love.

3. Authenticity: True love only happens when you are real.

Have you ever found yourself laughing simply because everyone else did? Agreed with your partner’s opinion even though you didn’t share it? Told your lover you had a fabulous time when you didn’t or said: “I love you” when you didn’t mean it. In other words did you ever do something inconsistent with your true self just to please someone, get attention or get what you wanted? Of course we all have. We have lost the bravery to be real!

For many there is quite a gap between the person inside and the person they present to the world. How about Toni, the dad who rents a Porsche to impress his date, while being delinquent in child support. How authentic is that? Laura, owner of a marketing firm, supports and votes for the political party most of her clients belong to. Yet, she neither has faith in the candidate or the agenda of this party. Debby spends every Sunday at Grant’s parents but resents it. To keep the peace she refrains from claiming some of these Sundays on her own terms. Donna, a serial dater knows how to pick guys. As soon as her friends find her new dates socially unacceptable Donna dumps them. Donna no longer takes the time to get to know her dates. Instead she allows her girlfriends to decide for her.

To be validated by our lovers or to be socially accepted we often compromise who we are and what we believe in. Conditioned by our environment we have become products of the culture we live in and are in somewhat disconnected from our identities. No matter how good we are at playing roles for each other, eventually we encounter role conflict and our truth emerges. True love does not unfold unless we are real. Being fit to love means being real. It means removing all the layers of pretense and becoming vulnerable. When we are authentic our relationships become real and we never have to doubt them. To love, we need to know each other the way we know ourselves. Love only works when we are real! Our authentic self is the best of us. It is where our goodness lies imbedded in the strength of our character. To be fit to love we must encourage authenticity in each other.

Regardless of the state of our current relationships or how unsuccessfully we have tried to find love we have the power to radically improve our circumstances today. The three principles of being fit to love are as true today as they will be twenty years from now. Mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity are the essence of exceptional and loving relationships. Because people in exceptional relationships are fit to love, they are positive role models in becoming better human beings for each other. They put love before every thought and action. In the process they reap some profound rewards:

• People in exceptional, loving relationships live much happier lives
• They cope far better with stress
• They have better sex more often
• They laugh more often and have more fun
• They are healthier and live longer
• They are more optimistic
• They complain less
• They feel validated and needed
• They feel more secure and stable

No wonder we envy these people. Their relationships are like rock-solid anchors. In times like these, laced with tremendous uncertainty and uproar, their love shields these couples from the restlessness most of us experience. Mahatma Gandhi said: “A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave”. Let’s be brave!

۝ٰ٭Living in Love May Not Be Enough۝ٰ٭

Unmarried couples face many of the same financial issues as married couples but without benefit of marital laws: property rights, inheritances, employee benefits, and division of income and debts, for example.

Couples that have not yet said their “I do’s” should consider signing these legal documents when one or both bring substantial assets or debts to the relationship, they plan to stay together a long time, children are involved, or they plan to buy a home or move into one of their homes. While this may sound unromantic, it will protect you if things turn sour.

The first key document is called a “living together” or “domestic partner” agreement. This agreement is similar to a prenuptial agreement that a couple with accumulated assets might sign before they marry.

The agreement can be as specific or as broad as you wish to make it. Typically, the agreement will spell out how assets and income will be divvied up during a relationship, or after a relationship should it end. For example, it might spell out what portion each will contribute to the monthly bills. Will paychecks be pooled or kept separate? Will assets each person brings to the relationship be pooled or kept separate? What about assets inherited by one person during the relationship? Will they share employee benefits if the employer allows it? Will ownership of property bought during the relationship be based on who actually buys the property, kept proportional to the income each party earns, or split down the middle? How will existing or future debts be handled (it’s often best to avoid jointly titled credit cards)? How will property be divided at separation or death?

A living-together agreement is especially important when the purchase of a major asset is involved, such as a home. How will ownership be titled? Who pays what portion of the down payment and monthly mortgage, and how will any gains from the sale of the house be split up?

The agreement also might spell out a method for resolving future financial disagreements, such as using third-party mediation before resorting to the courts. Some agreements even go so far as to delineate who will cook and wash dishes and take out the trash!

A living-together agreement is only a start, however. Unmarried couples also should have a will, living will, and powers of attorney-legal documents even married couples should have. A power of attorney allows the partner to step in financially should the other become incapacitated. You can rescind such a power as long as you’re mentally competent, so don’t feel stuck with it.

A living will spells out what life-sustaining medical treatment you wish or don’t wish should you become incapacitated, and the medical power of attorney grants your partner or other appointed agent such as a relative the legal authority to make medical decisions on your behalf, usually based on what you spell out in your living will. While married couples should have such documents, they are especially important to unmarried couples because relatives would otherwise likely supercede such decisions.

The same goes for a will. While married couples should have wills, state statute will typically-though not always-distribute property to the surviving spouse where there is no will. For an unmarried couple without a will, however, it’s unlikely property or custody of a child will go to the surviving partner.

All these agreements may sound unromantic, but many relationships, unmarried ones as well as married ones, can end in bitter feuds. Written agreements not only can minimize such feuds, they can actually promote a healthier relationship by focusing attention on financial issues central to all relationships.

▒▒▒Łōvέ ΔT fiЯsţ śigΉt▒▒▒

Love at First Sight. Perhaps, it is the most romantic thing that can happen to anyone. It makes people lose their heart and mind within a matter of several seconds. Love is a very strong emotion which, sometimes, is even impossible to control. Love at first sight can happen anywhere, anytime - in a subway, while walking on a street, or seeing a beautiful face from across the room …

People who haven’t experienced love at first sight themselves, probably don’t believe that it can be real. There are many skeptics who say it is just passion or lust that attract people to each other, and refuse to believe that one can really fall in love with another person at the first moment their eyes meet.

And do you believe in love at first sight? Some scientists after studying human brain activity noted that it is quiet possible, but everyone is free to believe or not to believe. There are people who really experienced this wonderful moment. They say that as soon they have raised their head and met those eyes, they instantly knew that they were looking at the person of their dreams.

Psychologists say that love at first sight depends on our psychological state at the very moment. Sometimes we will not even notice those charming eyes, and other times they can deeply impress us. Also they say we need approximately 30 seconds to fall in love or, to be more precise, to establish whether the person is attractive, and a potential mate. By the way psychologists claim that men fall in love first.

“The study gets at the basic perceptual aspects in mating,” said psychologist Jon Maner of Florida State University, who decided to find out how people react on strangers they have never met before. “It shows how quickly, strongly and automatically people are attuned to physical attractiveness whether looking for mates or guarding their mates from potential rivals,” he added in an interview.

In the study university students were shown pictures of very attractive or average-looking people for just one minute, and after that they were asked to look at other things. The reaction time of the participants was measured, after what the psychologists were able to determine that half a minute was enough for students to decide if someone is attractive. The researchers also noticed that people fixated on attractive faces for half a minute longer after the one minute time limit.

“These are the kind of people we might prefer as romantic partners, but it doesn’t mean we’d be able to have a relationship with them because highly-attractive people are very sought after,” said Maner.

A lot of factors play role in the situation of falling in love from the first sight. When you fall in love at the first sight you are usually ready and willing to do so. There is less chance that it will occur when you are tired, depressed or your head is exploding with problems. The main part in falling in love is given to the physical appearance, voice, gestures and smell. One person intuitively searches in the other the qualities and the features he likes and enjoys the best. It is a known fact, that beautiful people attract attention the most, but sometimes it is wrong to fall in love with them right away, because those people are most probably spoiled by attention from others as well, and, therefore, might not even notice you, or simply leave without attention.

So how is it possible to understand if what happened to you is love at first sight?

1. First of all, try to understand what is the first thing that got into your mind when you saw a person. If the first thought is physical, then it probably is not love. But if you are excited and overwhelmed by a desire to get to know the person better and take things slowly so they work out for you, then it might be a good sign for a deeper relationship.

2. A person’s attractive physical qualities are something that anyone can see and appreciate, but when you really fall in love with someone, it means that you will not appreciate and notice only his/her physical appearance, but also will notice other qualities that no one else can see. If you are able to notice such features, but your friends, for example, are not, then it is another good sign that you might be falling in love.

3. Falling in love with someone means wanting to know everything about that person, from their likes and dislikes to their life experiences. Just have patience to learn about them slowly, be understanding and supportive, and at the end, everything will work out for you in a best way.

Still, the cases when people really had fallen in love from the first sight and lived a long and happy life after are very rare. People may dream of a beautiful stranger that waits for them just around the corner, and sometimes it takes patience and time to find a real love. People must understand that this kind of things do happen, but not as often as they would like them to. And if out of nowhere you just suddenly start feeling the growing wings behind your back, still try to keep your feet on the ground because if it is really a deep and true feeling, nothing will ever happen to it, but if it is just your illusions that you accept and see as a reality, then disappointment from falling back on the ground can be very, very painful.

♥⌂۞HeaLing a bRokeN heArt ۩

As we travel through life, we eventually encounter that most unwelcome of all companions—loss and heartbreak.

There are many kinds of losses: a job, a move that separates us from friends, a death. The loss of a love relationship ranks near the top of stressful life events. It is so devastating because we are hit with so many losses all at once—big and small, tangible and intangible.

If you were embroiled in high conflict, bouncing back can be particularly difficult when the “corpse” from the dead relationship still has the audacity to keep walking around! The lack of closure only adds more agony to the already broken heart.

At the core of all this devastation lies the greatest loss of all—the loss of sense of self.

In reality, recovery really means reclaiming your true identity, the golden essence of who you truly are. The good news is that it is a process that has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

In the beginning, nearly everyone is hit, to a greater or lesser degree, with the painful emotions of hurt, anger, guilt, and fear. Where you go from there is up to you. People who successfully navigate through and beyond this stormy transition take this sad, confusing time for inner questioning and deep reflection.

In picking up the pieces they create new hopes and dreams. They learn from their mistakes to create healthier relationships in the future. They get back in touch with what they value and break free from old patterns to redefine who they are.

To successfully rebuild your life, here are eight tips to get you started down the healing path.

1. Live in the present. I know, it is tough. You cannot get thoughts of your ex out of your head. Of course it is natural to think about what might have been, could have been, should have been—if only you could do it all over again. But you cannot. That door is closed forever. Choose not to be a victim. Focus on you and your actions, not those of others.
• Where are you avoiding taking responsibility for your life?
• What daily routines, habits, or rituals will help keep you grounded?

2. Say good-bye to all that you have lost. Make a list of the good, the bad, the big, the small, the hopes and dreams, the companionships, the house, the security, the favorite picture, and so on. You cannot let go of the past and move on until you know exactly what you are letting go of.
• What do you need to let go of? How can you simplify your life today?

3. Give yourself lots of time to grieve your loses deeply and fully. Grief is not something you can get over, around, under, or otherwise avoid. You have to go right through the pain and darkness before you can reach the light on the other side. Allow yourself to cry, then cry some more. It is okay. You will not get stuck here. It is all part of the healing process.

4. Take really, really good care of yourself. Grieving is hard work. More than ever right now, you need to be getting lots of rest and quiet time and be eating well and nurturing yourself.

Find activities that will replace all those toxic stress chemicals with more productive, positive ones. You have heard of the “runners’ high”? That is sort of what you are looking for. Any physical activity, even walking briskly, will raise your endorphins, those “feel good” chemicals.
Have you ever noticed that you tend to take good care of things that are important to you—things that you care deeply about? Taking care of you gives you the message that you are important.
• How can you eat smart and exercise today? How will you nurture and pamper yourself?
• What will you do to have more fun today?

5. Vent all that rage that is stored up inside you. If you do not get it out, it will just eat away at you, possibly for years and years. What a waste of a good life! I knew a woman who took up kickboxing following her divorce. You can just imagine the thoughts she had while she was practicing! But she released her rage in a healthy manner and got fit to boot!
• How can you use all that powerful emotional energy to kick you forward and take back control of your life?

6. Take stock of what is left. No matter how difficult things were, it is likely that something positive came out of your relationship. It is time to consider that good.
• In what ways are you enriched, stronger, better?

7. Set small, daily goals. Decide what tasks are most pressing, and then determine how you will get them done.
• What do you want to accomplish today, next week, next month, this year? What is even one tiny action that will move you forward toward your goals today?

8. Reclaim yourself. Chances are, you gave up a lot of who you really are by taking care of others in your relationship. The most important person to please is yourself. Learn to say no. You become more authentic when you live according to what is really important to you.
• How can you get back into integrity with yourself? Are you living by your values?

9. Welcome the future. Sure, some days look bleak, but the fact remains, there is more to life than pain, grief, and frustration. It is not too early to start painting a picture of your new life.
• What do you want your new life to look like? What door has just opened for you? What new opportunities are available, or what have you been putting off that you have no excuse for now?

Yes, this ending has deeply impacted you in so many ways—not only your life as you once knew it, but also, your sense of self has been shattered. You are bound to change in some way.

But things were different in your life a year ago, and things will be different a year from now. This is the next chapter of your life. You get to write the script any way you want it. Is it going to be a third-rate paperback or a best-selling novel full of passion and adventure? Only you can decide.

Your grief is meaningless until you learn how to use it as a stepping stone to your personal power and full potential. When you find some meaning for your pain, when you understand the precious gift of your life lessons, presented to you on this portion of your journey, you will be truly transformed.

Change is inevitable. Why not control it by reinventing yourself and making the changes you want?

15 Signs It Is Just Sex, Not a Relationship

I hear so many of my friends talking about how they met a guy and had wonderful sex and then the guy only calls or comes by when he wants sex. OK honey what you need to know is that what you had with him was a physical attraction that magnified feelings of a deeper nature. Now let me make myself clear he is not a bad guy, for the most part, he was simply thinking “it’s just sex what’s the harm in that”. So here are some super signs to look for to see if it is just sex:

1.Every time you see each other it’s only to have sex. So many women and men are having this type of relationship thinking that it’s more and it’s not. It’s Just Sex.

2.Only comes over at night. They call you around 10 pm or later asking if you can come over or if they can come over around midnight. A lot of people think “oh they are just really busy” no they are calling for a booty call. It’s Just Sex.

3.Doesn’t want to go out anywhere. Yes staying at home is nice sometimes but there is a whole world outside of the bedroom. It’s Just Sex

4.Never talks about family and friends. Think, do you even know if their parents are alive, do they have siblings. If you don’t know it might just be sex.

5.Doesn’t want to hear about your family and friends. Are you bummed out about your family and want to talk about it and they don’t want to hear about it. It could be just sex

6.Phone conversations or text messages are only in a sexual nature. Some relationships are like this but others are Just Sex.

7.You only meet at places where sex can occur. Only going to their house/apartment or vice verse might just be sex.

8.No sleepovers. They come over at midnight have sex and then around 2 am they want to go home or send you home. Oh yeah it’s just sex.

9.You don’t eat together. Ever hear that old saying “a couple that eats together stays together”.

10.They take a shower right after sex and send you on your way. Normally you want to rest a bit and maybe talk. When they all of a sudden they want you to leave it’s probably just sex.

11.Never talk about life outside the bedroom. There are so many other things going on that you could talk about.

12.You only have a cell phone or beeper number. It could be Just Sex

13.When you talk it’s only to setup a sex time. Ever call then and setup a time to meet and you end up having sex. It’s Just Sex.

14.They avoid you in public. You see them and you know they saw you and they turn away. It’s Just Sex.

15.Only spends a couple of hours with you. Only spend enough time with you to have sex. Then It’s Just Sex.

«Getting Over Short-Term Relationship Break Ups»

Break up are always painful, but it’s not just the long-term relationships that cause such anguish. Short-term ones hurt in a different way. Their brief arc tends to be more intense and passionate. Think of a rollercoaster, filled with anticipation, exhilaration, speed, highs and temporary lulls. As in the beginnings of many relationships, hope and hormones are at high levels. There is little time to build a history of fights and difficulties. Consequently, rejection can feel deep and more acute. After all, a person has been rejected long before his or her self has been fully expressed. A common complaint is that a person feels that they haven’t been given a fair chance. The rejected person thinks, “If I’ve been turned down before they knew my very private issues, then I must really not be very acceptable.”

Also, because it’s tough enough to find someone who seems like a good match, when that someone seems to reject a person so quickly, it can feel as though the pool of The Right One has dramatically shrunk. For women, especially, if sex occurred, they might feel slightly more emotionally vulnerable that the relationship didn’t lead anywhere and was so brief. Here are some tips to speed your recovery from these rejections.

1. Say out loud to yourself several times a day the following:
a. I have not been rejected as a person.

b. I’ve been seen as not the best match for this one particular person.

People often don’t know what they want or need, so it’s likely that I have been sent home for no real good reason.

2. Now try a mental “do over.” Ask yourself:
a. If I could do over 1-3 things, what would they be? For example, some women regret that they pushed too soon for a definition of the relationship—you know, that old “where is this relationship going?” question.

b. What is my best guess as to why I did these things?

3. In a few weeks, if you still think this person is worthwhile, email the person and say:
a. I’ve been thinking a lot about us and what you said, and I want you to know that by (fill in the blank with a brief description of what you did that you regret), I am sure I gave you the wrong impression.

b. At the time, (now fill in briefly with what your best guess is as to why you acted that way.) I am sure you can understand this, and if you would like to be friends.

c. Offer the man a favor that is important to him. For example, one of my clients sent an email saying: Dear Fred, I’ve been doing some thinking about us, and I want you to know that I’m sorry I made you feel pressured about going away with me. I know your work schedule was very busy. At the time, my mom was very ill, and I was feeling extra alone. I’m sure you can understand this. Would love to be friends. I can still help you with that sales contact.

4. Finally, overcome the instant need for closure. It doesn’t do much good to try to figure things out when your emotions are still too high. It’s like trying to feel normal when you still have a fever. Calm down so you can think more clearly. Stay away from the phone and emails. Instead, try writing down your thoughts in a journal.

♂♀You deserve someOne beTter!

For the ladies out there who’ve ever thought the words, “This man is just not good enough for me,” I strongly suggest you read further.

There are enough women out there who have put up with men who don’t deserve them, that they have come to not remember that they deserve better. It is about time we women come together and try to change that. If we rally ourselves to set a standard approved only by and for women, then we won’t feel alone in our tough choices in men. Instead, we will feel support when we are questioning ourselves about if we are worth more than what the particular man in question can give us.
I have found that a man cannot be the primary judge of what a woman is worth. We have to rely on the understanding of our own gender if we want the true worth of who we are.

So why don’t I start with a few standards and why:

1. We deserve to still get our doors opened for us.

Yes, we women have fought for equal rights, our freedom, and our pay to be the same as a mans, but that doesn’t mean that chivalry has to die in the process. Expect him to open your doors and give you his coat when it’s cold. These are the little things he can do to show he’s a gentleman. If you don’t expect them, then the breed of gentility will die out altogether. Unfortunately it’s sometimes up to us to remind them that we are worth his gentlemanly gestures. Just because the times have changed, doesn’t mean we should be treated with any less respect and devotion.

2. We are worth men’s time.

No matter how they may try to make us feel that their time is more important than ours, it is not. Remember that regardless of gender, career ranking, salary, or status at home, everyone’s time is equally important as everyone else’s.

3. If we are on a date, we deserve to be treated as if we are the only woman in the room.

Remember that you are giving him your night, when you could be doing something else. Let him be reminded that it was a choice you made to come with him, and that you didn’t have to. You are his guest, and should be treated accordingly.

4. If you start to cry about something, and he rolls his eyes, you are still justified in slapping him!

There is an unwritten rule, (which I will now put down so that it is written!), that if he tries to make you feel like your feelings don’t matter, you have the right as a human being to be offended by it. Only little kids have an excuse for rolling their eyes. He doesn’t.

5. You deserve a man who spends just as much time taking care of you as you take care of him.

Gone are the days of barefoot mommas slaving over three slow-cooking meals a day in the kitchen. You are most likely just as busy as he is, whether in the home or outside of it. Start counting the amount of time he is relaxing to yours. You may be surprised that you are doing all of his laundry, his cooking, and picking up after him, just because you feel it’s your womanly duty. If you are going to school, work, or taking care of the kids, most likely you have just as stressful a job as he does. Let go more and let him pick up the slack so that you are being taken care of just as much.

6. Don’t, under ANY circumstance, tolerate abuse.

If a man can’t keep his fingers off of you, that’s usually a good thing, but in this case, it is absolutely off limits. If a man even once has the audacity to hit, throw, or shove you, then you’d better be walking out that door and not looking back. As women, we know this is the standard we need to live by. Because too many of us know that if he hits us even once, then it is only the first of many. Some of you out there may disagree and say that in a moment of rage, men sometimes get out of hand and don’t know what they’re doing, and are very sorry after wards so we should forgive them. I believe it is fine to forgive, just as long as you are doing it from afar. Even if you think he won’t do it again, the point is that you deserve better than to have to wonder if that’s true or not. You deserve to be treated with respect regardless who you keep your company with. If it were a random person on the street that hit you, you’d probably call the police. Why is it any different for it to be someone you know and love? It’s worse.

7. If a man isn’t willing to commit to you, then start moving on.

Let’s face it, ladies, we are not going to be hot mommas forever. Keep in mind that if the man you’re with isn’t willing to be with only you, or if he isn’t willing to marry you for another three years, then you are not getting what you deserve. You are worth someone’s whole heart. You are worth being with someone who wants only you and who wants to make sure that he won’t lose you. Believe me, you really are worth it. If he’s not giving you that then I know there will be someone out there that will appreciate you more. And yes, sometimes it takes a while. Better to wait another year for the right one than spend the next ten years on the wrong one.

So let’s have each others’ backs, ladies! Add to this list under the comment section below and keep up the standards!

☼ Ï ╒èÊ└ H☼┼

I cannot wait to stroll around the beach under the heat of the sun. It’s summer right now and it is one of the seasons that I am waiting for. Imagine the beach with girls in bikinis and boys wearing trunks. They all over the place. Do they feel hot or just wanna show some skin? Ohhhhhhhhh…

I’ll go with people who wanna show some skin. But here is the thing, I got fat due to pregnancy. I still have those fats and scratches. I definitely don’t wanna show them. It’s so embarrassing! But I wanna look sexy under the sun, you know.. hmpf! I want to be sexy that doesn’t require to show some skin.. so I pick up some old clothes that I have in my closet and mix and match them to have cool and sexy outfit this summer!

On the left: Sweet summer look
•white top with orange tube
•cute skirt I got from ukay-ukay from Carbon
•a brown bag worth 25O php
•cute summer pump from SO FAB!
•cute bangles worth 10 php each from kilid-kilid from Downtown Cebu

This is inspired from Guess Summer 2009 collection . Being simple is the goal here. Clean means cool. Use light color to lower the temperature. I does not attract heat unlike black. Wearing Black t-shirt makes you feel more hotter. The “color” black (actually a dull flat black) absorbs every wavelength of visible light. this absorption creates heat, just like when you stand in the sun. white reflects all “colors” but white so it reflects most of the heat, but not all. a mirror reflects all light so it will be even cooler than a white surface. the reason an object appears as any color is that it absorbs all other colors other than the one you see, which is reflected back to your eye…
That is what my chemistry teacher told me way back from 1st year college..
That is why I prefer to be naked, ow, to wear light colors during summer…☺

On the right: Maldita look
•Blue fit jacket from Plain and Prints
•White tank top from Metro for only 150php.
•yellow shorts given by mommy
•blue bag way back from high school got this from cosê
•flats w/ floral blue prints from Celine
•I made the necklace with neon beads from Chester
•glasses from my sisters drawer LOL

Wearing this makes my comfortable. I can play around wearing this. It is also perfect for shopping or strolling around the marketplace in Boracay. The jacket is for UV rays protection and the shades for a warm view. A big bag looks you have lots of stuff but the truth is, that bag only contains make up!♥

see? wearing the two outfits that I have is a shortcut in being sexy.
it really doesn’t mean that you need to show off some skin and most of all it doesn’t mean that you need to spend more some money to get a nice outfit. So open your closet, I am sure you can find something that is worth to be worn in beating the hot temperature. Do not forget to wear sunblocks guys! Enjoy the heat then be your self anyways your totally hot this summer!